Forums » General » Break Room » Sometimes you guys expect way too much...







August1
rose ExoticAnjali
Since: Jul '15 Vip  
pushpin 624 - 58 Reviews


Sometimes I think you guys expect way too much in the way of memory, executive level organizational skills, and burner phones that hold only so much info. We are up against a lot, we talk to a lot of people, and only book a small percentage of the people that contact us. These are actual texts conversations from TODAY. And these happen every day. Names and numbers altered.


Guy #1

Guy#1: Hi it's me Mike I met you in Sunnyvale in 2016, do you remember me?

Me: Ummm, you'd have to be more specific. Mike is a common name. I've also met more than one guy in Sunnyvale in 2016
Guy#1: You don't you have my number saved?
Me: I changed my number last year (2017) and don't have old numbers saved.
Guy #1: the last four digits of my phone number were 1234
Me: I still wouldn't have it saved, would you like to describe yourself?
Guy#1: Yes my NS handle is talktomebaby, I reviewed you.
Me: you couldn't have led with that?

Guy#2

Guy#2: Hi it's me the shy guy that met you last week.
Me: hi shy guy, are you using a different number than you used last week? Do you have an NS handle?
Guy #2: Yea that was a Google Voice number
Me: okay do you want to help me out here? Do you want to give me your old number from last week? I meet a lot of 'shy' guys. This is Silicon Valley.
Guy #2: Sorry I'm not deliberately trying to waste your time, I'm just shy.
Me: OK maybe you're just doing it by mistake then
Guy #2: You were really nice when we met.
Me: I am nice but anything you can do to identify  yourself would be helpful.
Guy # 2: (silence).


Guy#3 - this one was THE WORST

Guy#3: Anjuli Jain? Is this Anjuli Jain
Me: Yes I changed my name 5 months ago but it's still me.
Guy#4: It's me John, we've met 7 times
Me: 7 times really? 7 times is a regular, that puts you on a short list of people whose names I know. None of them John
Guy #3: You changed your number, it was hard to find you.
Me: Yes I changed it 5 months ago, and I PM'ed or texted all my regular clients my new number. Are you sure we met 7 times?
Guy #3: Yes you're the Bangalore girl with the picture in the red & black dress.
Me: Well you got that info from my old website. You can be anybody. How do I know we met.
Guy #3: I know you
Me: OK if you met me 7 times you know I'm not from Bangalore, my parents are. I'm from New York. 7 times is enough to get to know a person better than info on an ad. Please give me some identifying info about yourself or our session(s)
Guy#3: Seems like you have a good base of clientele now that you don't recognize someone who has seen you so much.
Me: But how would I recognize you when you haven't given me any identifying information?
Guy#3: You should have my number saved.
Me: You didn't even know I had a new name and new number for 5 months. I'm supposed to have your number saved?
Guy#3: Forget it you have an attitude problem now, I'm not interested anymore! Don't act like you'e doing ME some big favor.

Me: Huh?? Ok. (Blocked)








tophat Pete35
Since: Jul '17
pushpin 108 - 8 Reviews


Just to be the devil's advocate here. It's really easy by text to come across as something you don't mean to (for hobbyists and providers). Perhaps just say thanks for texting, but can you pm me through ns first? You dragged on the 7 times messaging when you could have resolved it with that response. ;-) 







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tophat MrRoboto
Since: May '17
pushpin 1833 - Qr 13 Reviews


    Hey you mean you haven't saved my information and phone number!  Now I am hurt! LOL 

     Looks like these Guys need to go to "John School"  !           


    








tophat MeatPole
Since: Jul '14
pushpin 589 - 51 Reviews


These guys need to text less.  And get a grip.







August1
rose ExoticAnjali
Since: Jul '15 Vip  
pushpin 624 - 58 Reviews


Lol, I just need to not accept text period I think. Issue is that none of these people have NS handles except the first guy. The first guy has only one review (me) and hasn't logged into NS in 3 months. People with NS handles and reviews not only PM, they understand the protocol. Obviously this rant is going to be wasted on a bunch of hobbyists that actually KNOW how to book an appointment. There are thousands of people using this site right now without handles, it's kinda crazy.







America
tophat 209Hobbiest
Since: Mar '15
pushpin 315 - Qr 56 Reviews


That sucks. Really. Keep your chin up. Not all of us are so dense or so unreasonably difficult when we want to experience the company of a beautiful woman such as yourself. Especially a repeat visit. 


I hope to leave a lasting impression when we finally meet. 







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rose YourGirlForHire
Since: Nov '15
pushpin 168


People in general need more blunt, and to the point texts. I bet you get hundreds of texts a day like I do...and a lot are frustrating due to one reason or another. These in particular possibly answer with

Simply, "I lost all my contacts, who is this?. Please give me information that I will remember you by. Thanks."







Tormund
tophat easymorning
Since: May '15 Vip  
pushpin 688 - 7 Reviews


This post should be pinned in the FAQ section on NS.  Anjali nailed it.


Well said, my dear.







Black erotica
tophat MrDiscrete
Since: Jul '14
pushpin 449 - Qr 29 Reviews


Simply, "I lost all my contacts, who is this?. Please give me information that I will remember you by. Thanks."

 ---

Bingo!!.. Exactly what I was thinking. It's not so much what happens to you it's much more so how you deal with it.







tophat Farthernature69
Since: Dec '16
pushpin 409 - 1 Review


I Completely agree with YGFH and Discrete. We all need to be more direct.


However, us guys have that emotional awkward rejection speech qued up in the back of our head in case we are rejected.  This emotional awkward speech usually is a lot of um, ugh, oh's with us guys slowing retreating.  Phone calls are the most awkward, and will always be until the ice is broken as you cannot read body language.


Someone recently told me.  If you see a pretty lady check your calander for available dates.


Since your available on Friday night, ask that pretty women for a date on Friday night.  If she rejects you, your in the same place you were five minutes ago with no date for Friday night. 


If she accepts you have a date.


When I think of it from a process standpoint the fear of rejection is much less than allowing my emotions to control my actions.







August1
rose ExoticAnjali
Since: Jul '15 Vip  
pushpin 624 - 58 Reviews


After people have met you already and they feel a connection, its hard for them to expect you not to know exactly who they are. But you are SO right. I just need to get better at squashing the endless texts from the start by saying something like this.







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tophat MrRoboto
Since: May '17
pushpin 1833 - Qr 13 Reviews


Nothing ventured nothing gained.  Yeah, being direct is the way to go.

Besides I am used to getting rejected by my SO and have built up a thick skin! 







August1
rose ExoticAnjali
Since: Jul '15 Vip  
pushpin 624 - 58 Reviews


And that is the issue from the male side really. The emotion and rejection issues. You shared an intimate moment with a girl, you remember it and cherish it. You expect her to remember you as well. She will, she does, its just a matter of communication to reach that point. I remember the simplest of details from his dog's name to which neighborhood he drove from. 







tophat PeterPeter
Since: Sep '14
pushpin 999 - Qr 64 Reviews


I never have to worry about that, I am far more likely to forget the lady than she is to forget me (my memory is HORRIBLE).  I can’t tell you how many new ladies I go see only to have them tell me when I arrive that we have actually dated before lol.  I was walking through union square just last night in fact and there was this smoking hot spinner lady who was clearly working.  I wander near her and hang out until I can get her attention, we talk for a minute and I get her number (never pick up girls directly off the street).  She says she has like 30 reviews on NS, I joke maybe she will catch up with me someday.  Anyways, I get home and cross reference her number to find out it is a lady I have seen twice before a couple years ago.  Once I realized who it was it all came back to me.  To be fair, she forgot too.  For the guys reading, it was FabulousMarlyX, she has a spinner body to die for.  


Is it possible to go senile in your late 40’s?









tophat Calcock
Since: May '17
pushpin 185 - 8 Reviews


Absolutely know you're up against it. And it's absolutely fair that you should keep yourself safe by asking for details from these guys. Them expecting you to remember is an unrealistic ns expectation. We guys know that going in, so it's funny you have these conversations. My only guess is that some of these guys are LE, or guys simply trying to avoid any type of screening process. I try to do several things when writing a known lady from the past. First of all, I never ask if she remembers me. That's so unfair. I always start with something like, it's been two years, so you may not remember me. That let's her off the hook. Then I'll lead in with my old handle. The one I reviewed you with. I'll also throw in a detail or two. Not general things, but subtle things that happened during the sessions. Quite often, if I know I want to see her again, I'll keep an old string of emails for two or three years. I'll contact her at the end of that string of emails. If she wishes, she can scroll down to see if anything jogs her memory about me. And lastly, as a courtesy, I'll include a current reference, just in case she doesn't remember.


I once saw a lady who could remember every minute detail from any previous session. For awhile I used to think she was one of those gifted savants, or people who had photographic memories. Later I found out she kept files with detailed notes from every session. If you were a regular, she would glance at her notes prior to the session, then quote something you said a year ago. It had such a connective effect, that you kept coming back. That gave the impression that she really liked you. She may not have been a savant, but that was a great way to run a business. 







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rose Holly Dhay
Since: Jul '16
pushpin 736 - 43 Reviews


Wow! I just realized how self-centered I am. 


Of all the times I've been so frustrated after these types of conversations, never once did it even cross my mind that it was my own damn fault for not taking control of the conversation by approaching it differently from the get-go. Such a simple solution, right?


Thank you Anjali for starting this conversation! And thank you YGFH and MrDiscrete, each for your eye-opening response!









tophat kidinacandystore
Since: Sep '14
pushpin 350 - Qr 30 Reviews


That's some pretty funny stuff!  That's why I hate texting/email/etc.  I want to talk to the person.  So much can be accomplished in a short time without all this back and forth.  I get it if there are situations where a convo won't work, but that's just my preference.  I also understand that a given provider doesn't want to waste her time on a phone call going no where and a text is easier to ignore/delete, etc., so there is no perfect solution.  All I know is that there is more misunderstanding thru texts than there are thru actual conversations.







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tophat hoser
Since: Nov '17
pushpin 44 - 2 Reviews


LOL. I have been on the other side of this conversation a handful of times. Usually when I know I will repeat with a gal I tell her my nickname, let’s say for example Don Julio. A couple times I have had to shake my head when the gal can’t remember. I mean how many Don Julio’s have you met woman 😆

At that point I give a few more details, but am wise enough to let it go if the gal doesn’t remember shortly. 







Bear1
tophat Asubtlesenior
Since: Sep '14 Vip  
pushpin 2106 - Qr 68 Reviews


If texts are a pain then don't put your contact number in your ad.

Experienced providers can tell if they want to see a gent by how he communicates. The female gut feeling is fool proof. Request an inbox or an email with screening info. 

Under the screening tab some very savvy providers put the steps needed to get a date. They say to put Screening in the subject line. Guys that follow directions then get a cell number to text for scheduling. Easy peezy.

Obviously, if a client has your private cell he got it from either the provider or a client.  However, if the incoming number is unknown just block it.







tophat Parnate1
Since: Aug '17
pushpin 55


I won't mention competitors but there is an international service most escorts in other groups subscribe to. You can see if the other girls have given the guy "OKs." As far as handles go, some guys refuse to give them when contacting the ladies and many of us don't review. 







tophat Lukn4fun
Since: Jun '17
pushpin 34 - 11 Reviews


Sounds like the lady you seen is the pro of pros  wouldn't it be great if more ladies were like that   I mean we're all here just to fulfill our fantasies aren't  we.   We as guys need to remember that when we're contacting these ladies unless you're seeing the same one every week it's kind of doubtful she's going to remember your voice or your name without a little help 

i'm a legend in my own mind but I know I'm not in their's







August1
rose ExoticAnjali
Since: Jul '15 Vip  
pushpin 624 - 58 Reviews


Senior, you missed it. The rant was about memory and saved numbers. Not for NEW clients. These are all REPEAT clients. People who would have saved my number from 'last time.' But absolutely I understand. I had the words NO TEXT written in my ad for a year and only recently removed it in an effort to shorten my ad. I don't text with new clients at all (personally), because screening has to be the first step.







tophat PlayStation
Since: Sep '15
pushpin 1 - 1 Review


+1 or at least on Anjali's ad description. 







tophat newtimes
Since: Sep '17
pushpin 157


Providers "screen" for two things: Law enforcement and ugly men.







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tophat MrRoboto
Since: May '17
pushpin 1833 - Qr 13 Reviews


Providers "screen" for two things: Law enforcement and ugly men.

--- LOL 


You mean we aren't all studs on this site?  Who would have thought that guys who pay for sex aren't hotties!