Forums » General » Fitness & Nutrition » Wash your hands BEFORE you take a piss

tophat  soundwave12
Since: Sep-2014 Vip 
pushpin 531 - 1 Review

I notice many people at the gym take a piss and then wash their hands. That shit's gross. I'm not even a big germophobe but touching gym equipment and then my equipment right after just feels...wrong. My dick isn't gross or dirty so why should I wash my hands after I touch it? I do a soapy wash of my hands before I piss and a token rinse after.

And no, I'm not a creeper in the gym bathroom watching people do their business. You just notice shit.

tophat  whyanon
Since: Mar-2015
pushpin 238 - 1 Review

I do a soapy wash of my hands before I piss and a token rinse after.

I think it would be appreciated if you did a 'soapy wash' of hands AFTER as well instead of 'token rinse' as most probably won't care if you have a habit of wiping down the urinal with your dick.

tophat  do-it-to-ya
Since: Apr-2015
pushpin 281 - 12 Reviews

I personally wash before and after at the gym. Not everyone cleans off the equipment. Some nights it seems like I work there because I'm the only one wiping down the machines.

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rose  Nadi
Since: Jan-2015
pushpin 233 - 1 Review

Well, I'm a germophobe... I wash my hands before and after, especially in public places. I also use my foot to flush and grab a paper towel to dry my hands before turning the water off, so I don't make contact with the faucet handle when I do turn the water off. I also use the paper towel to open the door. I had an awkward moment coming out of a bathroom once- I'm opening the door with the paper towel, but threw it away as I was exiting, using my foot to brace the door. Someone was outside waiting and I wanted to hold the door open for them, but didn't want to touch it, so I tried to continue using my foot, but ended up in their way and looking stupid more than helping.

"I'm your huckleberry"

Ns avatar 98
tophat  mnight98
Since: Jun-2015
pushpin 842 - 3 Reviews

My dick is amazing and well trained. I don't have to touch it when I piss. My dick is like an elephant's trunk. It slides through the underwear crease then unzips my pants from the inside, slides through the zipper fold, then shoots a laser like stream of gold smack dab in the middle of the urinal. Then it reverses course, slips back behind the zipper fold, zips me back up, then neatly slips back between the underwear folds and voila, I'm all done never needing to have touched anything down below...

tophat  Stingsrstupid
Since: Feb-2015
pushpin 1682 - 9 Reviews

My dick isn't gross or dirty so why should I wash my hands after I touch it? I do a soapy wash of my hands before I piss and a token rinse after.

Employing a false dick-otomy to justify your characteristically lazy other-phobic egocentric inconsideration of your fellow man, as usual ;)

tophat  Stingsrstupid
Since: Feb-2015
pushpin 1682 - 9 Reviews

Hahaha nice :D

It's official then....

You are The Dick Whisperer :D

tophat  zipper99
Since: Sep-2014
pushpin 677 - 8 Reviews

Your junk may not be physically dirty, but it's a host to all sorts of unpleasant microbes. And as a dedicated gym rat, I don't want you rubbing off those microbes on my workout equipment.

With flu season coming up, your token rinse is a great way to spread whatever you came in contact with.

Get some hand sanitizer if you're that worried about dirty equipment. Or wash your hands twice.

rose  sashaminxxx
Since: Mar-2015
pushpin 1194 - 45 Reviews

Lmfao! 😁

tophat  Tmann
Since: Nov-2014
pushpin 579

This thread reminds me of a joke:

A man entered a restaurant and sat at the only open table. As he sat down, he knocked the spoon off the table with his elbow. A nearby waiter reached into his shirt pocket, pulled out a clean spoon and set it on the table.

The diner was impressed. "Do all the waiters carry spoons in their pockets?" The waiter replied, "Yes. Ever since we had that efficiency expert out, he determined that 17.8% of our diners knock the spoon off the table. By carrying clean spoons with us, we save trips to the kitchen."

The diner ate his meal. As he was paying the waiter, he commented, "Forgive the intrusion, but do you know that you have a string hanging from your fly?"

The waiter replied, "Yes, we all do. Seems that the same efficiency expert determined that we spend too much time washing our hands after using the men's room. So, the other end of that string is tied to my penis. When I need to go, I simply pull the string to get my penis out, go, and return to work. Since I don't actually touch myself, there's no need to wash my hands. Saves a lot of time."

"Wait a minute," said the diner. "How do you get your penis back in your pants???" "Well, I don't know about the other guys, but I use the spoon!!!"

tophat  venkatron
Since: Jan-2015
pushpin 223 - 2 Reviews

I regularly see this debate online. There's always a contingent that insists "my dick isn't dirty so I don't wash my hands after peeing." The fact that your hands could come into contact with urine, coliform bacteria, apocrine secretions from the testicles, etc. is typically handwaved away as puritanical phobia and accompanied by increasingly ludicrous claims about how clean they keep their dick ("an alcohol swab followed by 2 layers of lotion, followed by baby powder and a thorough windexing").

I don't get why people can't just wash their fucking hands.

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rose  nickole
Since: Oct-2015
pushpin 16 - 1 Review

Lol, that is one amazing cock you have there!

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rose  Montaine
Since: Jul-2014
pushpin 707 - 19 Reviews

Speaking of flu season....which is upon us..........Do get a flu shot!
I just got mine this week.....and the pharmacy is already seeing lots of respiratory flu going around.
You have been warned!
From the CDC:

Ns avatar 98
tophat  mnight98
Since: Jun-2015
pushpin 842 - 3 Reviews

This thread reminds me of a joke:
"Wait a minute," said the diner. "How do you get your penis back in your pants???" "Well, I don't know about the other guys, but I use the spoon!!!"

Man, been a while since I laughed out loud at my computer, seriously busted a gut over that one, nice...

Lol, that is one amazing cock you have there!

Baby, if you think that is amazing, you should see my tongue...

You can read about it in an erotica story I wrote here

(yeah, I like to pimp my stories...)

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rose  HairyAfricanmilk
Since: Aug-2014
pushpin 362 - 48 Reviews

This thread is hilarious!

tophat  pvsanjose
Since: Jul-2014
pushpin 226 - 25 Reviews

I know this is a bit late but yeah - if youre at the gym wash your hands before and then after. I don't really want anything from the gym on my body and i dont think anyone wants my unwashed hands as I leave the restroom. I agree you don't touch the door w your hands use the paper towel on your way out. I also wash my hands as I leave the gym for home etc using a towel on my way out. I don't want debris from the gym in my car or anyone else's for that matter - that will get you sick

3 14 blue balls box of 250 n9765 xl
tophat  thomasrice
Since: May-2015
pushpin 50

tophat  pvsanjose
Since: Jul-2014
pushpin 226 - 25 Reviews

Thank u - the next time I follow J Law into the bathroom I'll report back to you guys.

rose  GoddessAthena
Since: Mar-2015 Vip 
pushpin 1856 - 40 Reviews

How creepy would people think you were if you washed your dick in the sink after?  I guess pretty creepy.

~ Keep your equipment clean!

tophat  mrcali209
Since: Feb-2016
pushpin 1280 - 31 Reviews

Always wash my hands after the gym workout its just common sense especially before a #1

tophat  123mann
Since: Sep-2016
pushpin 75 - 3 Reviews

Damn I must be fucking bored looking through these old ass threads...

When I piss, I don't have to touch my dick at all with my hands... ok so what I do is I unbutton and unzip my jeans, lower the waistband of my boxers under my peen and aim and hold my dick steady, with just the waistband. I even shake the last piss drops out, just using the waistband. I pull the waisband outward to under the head of my dick, the frenulum or whatever its called, and bounce it. Ive been perfecting this technique for years to where I don't spill anything.

And yes, I will ALWAYS thoroughly wash my hands anyways, whether in a gym or at home or wherever, because I used to work in a sandwich shop from 15 until 19 and the owner had us washing our hands so much and you got in so much trouble if she ever caught you forgetting that I got like OCD ever since. She would literally pull us to the back and smell our hands for the soap smell after we came back from breaks...

Anyways, I have a pretty funny anecdote I always remember when talking about such things. I was at a dive bar when I was in my early 20's with about 8 of my friends. There were about 50 older guys there in their 40's and 50's, and the only girl in the whole bar was our platonic female friend, (a cute innocent-looking 21 year old blond girl in a ponytail). When the bar closed the men's room had a line, but the womens room didnt. Our female friend uses the bathroom, and one of my drunk, goofy friends decided he couldnt wait and he went in the girls bathroom and pissed in the toilet next to our female friend, then ran out immediately to join the rest of the party. It was obvious to her he didnt wash his hands after pissing.

So after she finishes up, she comes out and confronts him aggressively, immediately drawing the silent attention of all the patrons within earshot, about 20 or so of the older men...
"Eww you didnt even wash your hands!"
And nonchalantly and deadpan he goes "Yeah because I didnt piss on my hands.."
She says, "Yeah, but you touched your dick!"
He says, "Yeah well my dick is probably cleaner then my hands!" murmured laughter from the crowd
The she says "THEN GO WASH YOUR DICK!" 
Everyone at the bar was hysterical for about 5 minutes straight.


rose  Luna Kali
Since: Aug-2016 Vip 
pushpin 28 - 21 Reviews

I'm laughing so hard. Never in my life would I have imagined this. This should be a cartoon short on adult swim!

rose  lilyforyou510
Since: May-2015
pushpin 262 - 11 Reviews

A very dear friend of mine told me years that he always washes his hands before he pisses.  He said that in the course of a day, he knows where his dick has been (in his pants), but he doesn't know where his hands have been!  I cracked up laughing, but it made total sense to me.  (Of course, he washes them after, as well.)  kiss 

tophat  50sXfittr
Since: Nov-2015 Vip 
pushpin 739 - 17 Reviews

Funny....reminded me of another pee joke.

A marine and a sailor are peeing at the urinal.  The sailor finishes and starts to walk out the door.   The marine yells out "Hey sailor, in the marines they teach us to wash our hands after we piss".
The sailor replies "In the navy, they teach us not to piss on our hands".

tophat  tucumcari
Since: Jul-2014
pushpin 9 - 18 Reviews

Hey, I take a leak in the shower after I'm done working out. Feels so good when your relieving yourself with warm water splashing on your back.